toilet paper etiquette (and logic)

If I had a nickel for every time Derek told me I loaded the toilet paper the wrong way, I could buy a ton of... toilet paper. In order to send a clear message, by beloved sent me these diagrams.

Line of sight is an important aspect of toilet paper grasping. As you can see here, the over-hung method is far more conducive to proper grasping; this leads to tearing, which will be explored in the next image.

In order to avoid detrimental momentum created by the one hand tear, "over" and opposed to "under" is essential if you don't want to waste precious TP.

For a full explanation, and the site of the original genius, go here.

epic dummies

While attending the EPIC conference, I learned quite a few things... chief among them being that this sign and table were an unfortunate combination. I can't decide what's more bothersome: the fact that this many smart people were alright with making such a huge mess, or that not one of those smart people dragged over a trash can.

delta got a makeover

Looks like they updated more than their logo. Check out this lovely disposable flatware. Well done, Delta! It looks very little like the disposable utensils that we're used to seeing, and more like a plastic version of silverware, and pretty silverware at that. I also have to geek out about the salt and pepper... the icons are just like the tops of shakers. So clever.

While we're on the subject of forks and such, here's a nice little story about a surprisingly elegant flatware set designed for Costco.

snuffaluffagus: the street cleaning machine

Most cities have street sweepers. Montreal, apparently, has street slurpers. How could this possibly be that efficient? And more importantly, how goofy would you feel if you had to drive this thing? In fact, it's SO ridiculous maybe it adds awesome points for team Canada, instead of taking them away.

one HUGE cabbage

as i opened my mom's fridge, i was astonished to find this: the largest cabbage ever to exist.

why did she buy this cabbage? where did it come from? i say this in my head, but then i think it's better not to know; i find that these questions are better left unanswered. life's little oddities are funnier that way.

voltaire reincarnated as snoop dogg

I don't think anyone would expect this pair to look so much alike... but they do. And when such a bizarre epiphany comes about, one simply has to share it. The likeness is undeniable. Even Snoop's hairstyle, which isn't too similar in this particular photo, does correspond more closely when he's sporting his strange but frequently occurring old lady curls.

It's also important to note similarities outside of physical ones. For example, Voltaire and Snoop Dogg both use pen/stage names. Snoop was born Cordozar Calvin Broadus, and Voltaire accordingly was François-Marie Arouet. What does it mean? Probably nothing... but it's worth mentioning. Also, Voltaire was known for his satirical style... and who can't detect the sarcasm in Snoop's "izzle" language. He actually had a short lived show called Doggy Fizzle Televizzle. I think Voltaire would have thought that was pretty funny. I know I do.

incredible expanding marshmallows

This is some of the most baffling footage. Ever. My aunt informed me of this phenominon... so when she told me I eagerly dragged out my mom's dusty FoodSaver to witness and capture it in action. Usually the removal of air makes things deflate instead of inflate... but because marshmallows are that weird, the air trapped inside the marshmallow pushes out causing it to expand. The important thing to remember here is that FoodSaver exists to remind us of the amazing and mystifying qualities of the marshmallow-- never to be forgotten.

I feel obligated to mention that the FoodSaver, although I support getting more mileage out of your groceries, just isn't that good of a solution. Everyone has them and no one uses them; it's a problem. I prefer the Handi-Vac... small enough to fit in any drawer, no cords, and makes irresistible slurping sounds. If it didn't require special bags it might be perfect. But alas, we must wait for the golden age of kitchen gadgetry.