DRAT!

I don't know what's better... the astonishingly bad acting? Or the realization that humans are helpless and can't get anything right.

the ad for abilify totally sold me. NOT.

I've seen the commercial for Abilify a few times. I mean, all of the drug commercials have some creepy risks, but this one has a) the longest list and b) the scariest things in that list. Thanks to the magic of DVR, I was able to transcribe it so we can slowly pour over all of the enticing details.

Here it is:

"I'm taking an anti-depressant, so how come I still feel depressed?"

Approximately 2 out of 3 people being treated for depression still have unresolved symptoms. Talk to your doctor. If an anti-depressant alone isn't enough, one option your doctor may consider is adding Abilify. Abilify treats depression in adults when added to an anti-depressant. Some people had symptom improvement as early as 1 to 2 weeks after adding Abilify. Abilify is not for everyone. Call your doctor if your depression worsens, or you have unusual changes in behavior or thoughts of suicide. Anti-depressants can increase these in children, teens and young adults. Elderly dimensia patients taking Abilify have an increased risk of death or stroke. Call your doctor if you have high fever, stiff muscles, and confusion to address a possible life threatening condition— or if you have uncontrollable muscle movements, as these could become permanent. High blood sugar has been reported with Abilify and medicines like it. In some cases, extreme high blood sugar can lead to coma or death. Other risks include decreases in white blood cells, which can be serious— dizziness upon standing, seizures, trouble swallowing and impaired judgment or motor skills.

"Adding Abilify has made a difference for me."

Talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of adding Abilify.

Permanent uncontrollable muscle movements? Seizures? Coma? Stroke? Death? And on top of that, it doesn't even work on it's own... it has to be added to an anti-depressant. SIGN ME UP!

But hey, people actually bought Olestra chips even though they cause anal leakage— so maybe there is hope for Abilify.

double whhaaaat?

Just in time for swimsuit season, KFC has introduced the Double Down Sandwich. I thought they would never be able to top the grossness of the Chicken & Biscuit Bowl, but that was before I ever considered sandwiching bacon and cheese - deep breath here - between two slabs of fried chicken... with a smattering of a mayonnaise-like orange goo, endearingly yet mysteriously termed Colonel's Sauce.

They offer a grilled chicken version of the little monster. If you're the type of person who likes to order bacon and cheese encased in chicken and you also care about shaving off 9 grams of fat – well, this is meal for you!

I was willing to give KFC the benefit of the doubt, after all, this could be breaking ground on their very few gluten-free options... but guess what? The grilled chicken isn't gluten-free. Where is the gluten? Honestly, what the heck ought to be starchy in grilled fucking chicken? This fact might freak me out even more than that creation up there. Errrr, maybe not.