strange footprints left by north american white girl

Today at the gas station, I discovered that I am literally stamping the earth with the words "Kenneth Cole Reaction" (or at least a highly styled assembly of those letters) everytime I wear these shoes.

rachel ray makes delish dogfood

Okay, not that I actually believe this stuff is in fact delish (could it be both delish AND nutrish??)... but I couldn't help to use the vernacular: Rachel-speak. Yes, Rachel Ray has released a line of pet food. It is almost as if her marketing team is playing a prank on her, "You're the the next hot thing in dog food, Rachel". How does she go about concocting said dog food? Does she eat it herself? I would be willing to bet she does, but I know that statement is biased and a little uncharitable.

Was it not enough that she had her own magazine, talk show, cookware, and olive oil (appropriately named E.V.O.O., even more Rachel-speak)... she is invading American homes by any means necessary, and frankly, I don't like it.

and then the wind came

I cross this bridge everyday on my way to work; this is what it looked like today. Looks like we traded snow for wind...

treats from korea

One of my coworkers brought these goodies into the office today. They are so beautiful that it's quite obvious that they weren't made here in the states; we just aren't that exacting. Sorry to be down on my own kind, but it's true. Another particularly unAmerican detail about these is in that box there was a seafood flavored candy in the mix.(it's the one with the walnut, btw. bottom right)

dear 1958, you are very pretty

All gorgeous appliances in the world can't take the strangeness out of keeping your child in a playpen... still, those are some mighty fine digs.

See more oldies but goodies at the Prelinger Archives.

mistakes. (the kind you can fix)

Let's pretend that you're at the Waffle House... and say, for a moment, that you forgot that your hash browns and your waffle are in different places. Forgetting this, the waffle received the same condiment treatment as your hash browns might have gotten.

But it's never to late to rectify what might have been a very unfortunate flavor combination. All is well.

new scientific discovery

Breaking news! Evidence shows that ducks do not in fact hatch their young from eggs... rather, they poop them out (with great force, I might add). I discovered this today while driving to the hardware store. Very informative.

I am particularly concerned for the duckling that was thrust into the world so quickly that he had to take flight right at the moment of birth. It's a shame, little guy, but you would have learned independence eventually... and I guess now is as good a time as any.

real life photoshop

Isn't it amazing how much prettier things are when they're REAL? I guess this is the part when I get depressed about designing software for a living...

The larger images does it better justice. Go here.

life isn't fair

Hey, remember this commercial?

Apparently, someone actually acquired 7,000,000 Pepsi Points hoping to get a $33.8M aircraft for a steal. Pepsi, accordingly, laughed off the request stating the jet had been put in the ad for humor and was not a legitimate offer. Still the case went to court, and the judge sided with Pepsi. Poor guy... his hopes and dreams were shattered that sad day in 1996.

abstract poloriods

Love. It. See more of this man's fine work via Flickr here.

diagramming sarah

My fellow grammar geek said it best. Hit it, Kitty!

There are plenty of people out there—not only English teachers but also amateur language buffs like me—who believe that diagramming a sentence provides insight into the mind of its perpetrator. The more the diagram is forced to wander around the page, loop back on itself, and generally stretch its capabilities, the more it reveals that the mind that created the sentence is either a richly educated one—with a Proustian grasp of language that pushes the limits of expression—or such an impoverished one that it can produce only hot air, baloney, and twaddle.I found myself considering this paradox once again when confronted with the sentences of Sarah Palin, the Republican vice-presidential nominee. No one but a Republican denial specialist could argue with the fact that Sarah Palin's recent TV appearances have scaled the heights of inanity. The sentences she uttered in interviews with Charles Gibson, Sean Hannity, and Katie Couric seem to twitter all over the place like mourning doves frightened at the feeder. Which left me wondering: What can we learn from diagramming them?

Let's look at some examples, shall we?

"It's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where—where do they go?"


"I know that John McCain will do that and I, as his vice president, families we are blessed with that vote of the American people and are elected to serve and are sworn in on January 20, that will be our top priority is to defend the American people."


Yikes, that is bad.

A quick recap can only do so much. The original article is sublime, and you outta read it. For real.

exactitudes

Its stunning to see how closely personal identities are aligned with visual presentation. As you can see here, so many people don't seem very unique when they are held up next to their peers. In this photographic study it seems as though certain social groups have a dress code... or even a uniform!

To see far more "Exactitudes" check out the official site.

these are a few of my favorite things

We've all seen many edits similar to this, but this one is special. You can't help but notice the pitch perfect synchronicity. Also, the fact that who ever made this chose to have Bert be the more angry sounding one... let's just say he knew them well. I've watched it about 100 times, and I hope to pass on the joy bloggerifically.

fleshmap

So class, today we learned: hip-hop is all about the booty, and gospel is all about the clapping. Mmmkay?

Artist statement from the creators of Fleshmap:
"How do we talk about the body? To find out how physicality permeates cultural discourse, we compiled a set of songs, poems and religious texts that reference the body. Using images of the body as pictograms, Listen offers a fresh look at vocabulary use, ranging from the popular to the erudite. Based on a compilation of more than 10,000 songs, the piece visualizes the use of words representing body parts in popular culture. Each musical genre exhibits its own characteristic set of words, with more frequently used terms showing up as bigger images.

toilet paper etiquette (and logic)

If I had a nickel for every time Derek told me I loaded the toilet paper the wrong way, I could buy a ton of... toilet paper. In order to send a clear message, by beloved sent me these diagrams.

Line of sight is an important aspect of toilet paper grasping. As you can see here, the over-hung method is far more conducive to proper grasping; this leads to tearing, which will be explored in the next image.

In order to avoid detrimental momentum created by the one hand tear, "over" and opposed to "under" is essential if you don't want to waste precious TP.

For a full explanation, and the site of the original genius, go here.

epic dummies

While attending the EPIC conference, I learned quite a few things... chief among them being that this sign and table were an unfortunate combination. I can't decide what's more bothersome: the fact that this many smart people were alright with making such a huge mess, or that not one of those smart people dragged over a trash can.

delta got a makeover

Looks like they updated more than their logo. Check out this lovely disposable flatware. Well done, Delta! It looks very little like the disposable utensils that we're used to seeing, and more like a plastic version of silverware, and pretty silverware at that. I also have to geek out about the salt and pepper... the icons are just like the tops of shakers. So clever.

While we're on the subject of forks and such, here's a nice little story about a surprisingly elegant flatware set designed for Costco.

snuffaluffagus: the street cleaning machine

Most cities have street sweepers. Montreal, apparently, has street slurpers. How could this possibly be that efficient? And more importantly, how goofy would you feel if you had to drive this thing? In fact, it's SO ridiculous maybe it adds awesome points for team Canada, instead of taking them away.

one HUGE cabbage

as i opened my mom's fridge, i was astonished to find this: the largest cabbage ever to exist.

why did she buy this cabbage? where did it come from? i say this in my head, but then i think it's better not to know; i find that these questions are better left unanswered. life's little oddities are funnier that way.

voltaire reincarnated as snoop dogg

I don't think anyone would expect this pair to look so much alike... but they do. And when such a bizarre epiphany comes about, one simply has to share it. The likeness is undeniable. Even Snoop's hairstyle, which isn't too similar in this particular photo, does correspond more closely when he's sporting his strange but frequently occurring old lady curls.

It's also important to note similarities outside of physical ones. For example, Voltaire and Snoop Dogg both use pen/stage names. Snoop was born Cordozar Calvin Broadus, and Voltaire accordingly was François-Marie Arouet. What does it mean? Probably nothing... but it's worth mentioning. Also, Voltaire was known for his satirical style... and who can't detect the sarcasm in Snoop's "izzle" language. He actually had a short lived show called Doggy Fizzle Televizzle. I think Voltaire would have thought that was pretty funny. I know I do.

incredible expanding marshmallows

This is some of the most baffling footage. Ever. My aunt informed me of this phenominon... so when she told me I eagerly dragged out my mom's dusty FoodSaver to witness and capture it in action. Usually the removal of air makes things deflate instead of inflate... but because marshmallows are that weird, the air trapped inside the marshmallow pushes out causing it to expand. The important thing to remember here is that FoodSaver exists to remind us of the amazing and mystifying qualities of the marshmallow-- never to be forgotten.

I feel obligated to mention that the FoodSaver, although I support getting more mileage out of your groceries, just isn't that good of a solution. Everyone has them and no one uses them; it's a problem. I prefer the Handi-Vac... small enough to fit in any drawer, no cords, and makes irresistible slurping sounds. If it didn't require special bags it might be perfect. But alas, we must wait for the golden age of kitchen gadgetry.